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So before I go into the story about Sari and Dhabhan—the CBA love story, let me take a minute to gripe about the selection of movies that satellite TV stations choose to show on valentines. They should take into serious consideration WHO their audience will be on valentines. I mean seriously. If you have a valentines, then chances are that you won’t be sitting in front of the television watching some old movie. And you’re the happy one of the bunch who could take any kind of movie anyways. And if you’re a single guy, chances are that you won’t even remember its valentines and even if you sit in front of the tele, you’ll be watching alien predators or some other nonsense sci-fi flick. Which leaves the singleton girls… who will very clearly remember that its valentines, be very emotional as it is and will tune into the television to watch the movies. And a sad movie where the heroine dies of cancer is NOT the kind of movie we’d like to be watching, ok? It’s not going to make anyone feel any better. Sheesh.

Anyways, this is the story about Dhabhan and Sari, our very own CBA couple….

Dhabhan was new to the area, lived about a good 45 minutes outside of town and one day as he passed through the city, he passed by Sari Street… that was when he saw the big flashy sign of Saris. A sand storm struck, camels ran onto the road…. and it was love at first sight. Now Sari was a cute old lady, younger than Effat or Dar-el-hikma, but still older than Dhabhan. She always kept to herself, very rarely competed with the other ladies and the only sign that existed of her presence in town were those under the bridge signs that were never noticed anyways. But they helped Dhabhan get her number and this is the conversation that followed:

Dhabhan: Hello, Sister Sari, may I please have a word with you?
Answer: Sorry Brother Dhahban, the number you have reached can not go through. Please hang up and try again.

Dhabhan quickly realized he was dialing the old numbers of Saris. He searched in vain for some contact method, her website too was outdated and there existed no business cards. Finally, because it was in their qismat, he bumped into her at the Jeddah Economic Forum even though she had chosen to represent herself in her typical quiet fashion—that is, just be there but not be there at the same time. No wonder she’s single, he thought, lucky for him though. He quickly approached her and managed to find a spot on her table free. Finally, he spoke to her and did not miss a beat, went straight in for the kill:

Dhabhan: Sister Sari, I wish to approach you for marriage.
Sari (shocked and embarrassed, yet flattered at the same time): Me?
Dhabhan: Yes, I like your quiet style and you are small and old, but its ok with me.
Sari: Well, I am not really that quiet. Spend some time with me. And you’ll see how loud things can really get around here. Everyday brings new dramas.
Dhabhan (smiles): That’s even better then. Appears to be quiet but is really loud. Perfect.
Sari: but you have no problem with me being older than you? My walls are dilapidated and some classrooms look like they are from another century. And despite the renovations, I can hardly hide my age. And you are so big and new!
Dhabhan (smiles yet again): No, I have no problem with your age at all. Give me a year or so. I’ll catch up to you. After all, it is my boys that caused you to age so quickly. They’ll have me older than you in no time!
Sari: and there are other confessions I should make too. I am very disorganized. Books for some of the classes are not even available the first day of class.
Dhabhan (continues to smile): Ah, but see, that too is my fault. We didn’t send the right books or even the right list until your girls screamed into the second week of classes.
Sari: I am also very slow. If you ask me for something that takes a week, it will usually take me months to get an answer.
Dhabhan (smile gets bigger): That too is me. I usually tend to ignore the requests or think the ladies don’t need it anyways. And again, only when I get pushed, I say ok, I will process the requests. Hehe.
Sari (somewhat irritated now): Well, I have a confession which you are not the cause to. I am very confused about what language I should follow dominantly. Somethings are all in Arabic while others are all in English. Some instructors even teach in Arabic despite me advertising that it’s an English Curriculum. An identity issue—Beat that mister.
Dhabhan (chuckles): It’s a big identity issue all over the Arab world now. They feel Arabic is part of identity they do not wish to loose… It’s sad that English is taking lead but you have to understand why the Arabs continue to struggle and try and hold on to Arabic. Have you done anything about it?
Sari (smiles bashfully): I try but it’s never consistent. We try to have everything in Arabic as well as English… but… you know… did I mention being disorganized? I do things the way I want to whenever I want to.
Dhabhan (somewhat concerned): But listen, in our marriage, I make all the decisions and you just follow them ok? Like we do now.
Sari (smiles coyly): sure.
Sari thinks to herself (He can make all the decisions he wants, but I will do what I want. Its what I do anyways. Hehe)
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They continued to talk and eventually got married. They had many kids: MIS, Finance, Marketing and a new born they called Human Resources. But they didn’t live happily ever after… very quickly, after some time… they got divorced and went their separate ways. But they continued to share the upbringing of their kids and went together for accreditation.

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Disclaimer: Articles written do not express the college or any personal views. They may or may not be true. They are intended to be light in nature and are not intended to target anyone or group.

So the whole world is now occupied with terrorism and being either targetted by the terrorists or the governments…

then there is the driving in saudi that, without any accidents, can give ppl heart attacks…

or the walking around in night in the states and encountering some hoodlums…

but this is what truly scares me and gives me nightmares:

Arab News Article

I mean I know abayas are cool and a huge fashion statement… but seriously. LOL Also, note how the girls reacted. I mean instead of acknowledging the crazy, they accepted it and said they were fans and huge supporters. and took autographs… uh… hmmm…. such a sad and scary state of affairs.

Tribute to this one awesome bint studying overseas… the excerpt from email:

“nada i did something really embarrassing today…well i needed to pray zuhr so i decided not to be lazy and go to the musallah to pray…so i get to the musallah, the door on the girls side is locked, i get the keys and as soon as i enter the door–someone from the guys side says out loud “ASALAMUALAIKUM WRM” so i say WA ALAIKUM ASALAM WRM..except he says again “ASALAMUALAIKUM WRM”..
then, it hit me..he was the imam ENDING ZUHR PRAYER…i got sooooooo embarrassed..mashAllah that’s how attentive i’ve become..obviously zuhr time, a whole group of guys alway pray and it didnt occur to me then..but newho, that was my embarrassing moment of the day..i made sure i didnt leave the musallah until everyone had left… ”

:)

Ticket From America to Saudi: $1500
Hiring Full-time Driver for Transportation in Saudi: $650
Salary Difference from Previous Job to CBA Job: $3500

Ability to Decide and then Do Hajj Overnight: *PRICELESS*

For everything else… there’s CBA

Every place and environment has its own culture and understanding of how things are to be done. Sometimes you can fake it and say its done, and thats enough. Other times, you can do it.. many times over.. yet your boss says its not done. My personal favorite is doing what you can and letting your boss to figure out what’s been done on his own. hehe.

So.. how do things get done in CBA?

Ask and yee shall recieve:

5) Do it yourself and give everyone else credit.

4) Dont do it and wait for someone to do it, then stake claim.

3) Dont do it, let the men do it. and then whine and complain how women are not given the opportunity to do anything.

2) CC the Dean, the Vice-Dean and anyone else important

and what we have all been waiting for… the number 1 way of accomplishing anything at CBA:
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1) You cant. Only the students can.

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Disclaimer: Articles written do not express the college or any personal views. They may or may not be true. They are intended to be light in nature and are not intended to target anyone or group.

The women recently had a revolution where we happily and successfully kicked the men out and took over the campus—an absolute thrill. After many months of hard work towards feminizing the campus… another new phenomenon seems to have appeared—the UFO: unauthorized female obstruction. That’s right, the problem of having to run back to get your abayas whenever you wish to walk across the campus only to realize there is some male in some part blocking the passage. Or worse, you are happily walking, talking, sitting in your office… and poof, there he goes. And there you run for your abaya—though I admit, its good exercise for those interested in loosing weight.

Now as with every school, whenever a problem arises, solutions must be sought. CBA is by definition a College of Business Administration. Throw this problem to the academians and here is your result:

From the MIS Department:

“We should study the latest technology out there and find the best solution based on all the factors. Ultimately we will decide and place little sensors on the men as they enter and use GPS based technology to track them on campus. Ladies can log on using their wireless technologies on PDAs. And if despite that, some male happens to walk past unsuspecting women… the women can press a little red button and zap the male… ‘exactly’… we’ll call it ‘be zapped’.”

From the Marketing Department:

“No, no, no… MIS has it all wrong! The answer is to ADVERTISE the presence of men in the building. Create cute and flashy signs and posters everywhere… alerting there is a man in the building. Heck, use handsome male models to hold the signs to add appeal to the message… yanni….”

From the Finance Department:

“The solution is to CHARGE the men as they enter. First of all, that creates additional revenue for the college and second of all, it prevents all the men who are scrooges and/or don’t have any money from entering. And if despite that, there is still a huge influx of men and they encounter unsuspecting women… they should be PENALIZED. The compensation should go to the women… that way, the women are also happy”

From the Islamic Studies Department:

“Haraaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmm… how can men be allowed to enter an all women place?! And even if they enter, they should lower their gazes as they walk past. and May Allah guide us all. Ameen”

From the English and Arabic Department:

“Let’s write an essay about this. We will have both an English version and an Arabic version. It should be 3 pages long and kindly use proper grammar.”

Finally, the admin departments were consulted:

From the Quality Assurance Department:

“Is there a policy or procedure for this?! How can there not be a policy or procedure for this? Why doesn’t anyone come up with a policy or procedure for this? We should have a policy or procedure to select the person to come up with a policy or procedure for this. Otherwise, how will we get accredited?”

From the higher admin:

“Well, let’s call individual students and ask them how they feel about it. We will be sure not to take any names and keep it all confidential. No threats will be made nor will anyone be victimized as a result. We do this all the time for everything, so why not this as well?”

And so in the meantime… UFOs continue to appear…

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Disclaimer: Articles written do not express the college or any personal views. They may or may not be true. They are intended to be light in nature and are not intended to target anyone or group.